Feb 13, 2017

I am not too badly off today. Deprssion is mild. The beast is but a whisper in my head. However I did sleep poorly and woke wioth another headache. I gobble some headache pills and drank some coffee and the headache is gone although it does leave...

Feb 11, 2017

It is another bad day. Depression is like a wet blanket smothering me. I woke with a monstrous headache. I did not sleep well at all. Bad dreams haunted my sleep. I've been in almost a fugue state since I woke. No panic attacks though so that is a...

Feb 10, 2017

It is not such a bad day. I'm up and moving. Got a shower and shave. Depression is light but still there. The beast is a distant whisper inside my head. No headaches today but I did have a panic attack this morning. Had to take 2 clonozepam to deal...

Feb 9, 2017

Looks like our massive snowfall is a big flop. We have maybe an inch of snow on the ground and the end of it is in sight in another hour or so. Not that I'm complaining mind you. No. I never complain when the snowfall is lighter than they predict. But...

Feb 8, 2017

Depression is the name of the game today. I've run out of my AD's and I am feeling it. Way down in the dumps. Tears come for no reason. The beast is loud and obnoxious. I can barely move. Yet I have to move. I have things to get done. It is...

Feb 7, 2017

My first daywork in almost two years wasn't so bad. It was actually pretty quiet as dayworks go. It was hard on me though because I didn't sleep well the night before. All manner of dreams kept waking me up. Disturbing ones as always. My depression...

Feb 3, 2017

Man what a day. My son fell off a 10 foot ladder and sliced his finger to the bone so my wife went to meet him at the hospital. That left me alone with my 3 youngest grands for 3 hours. Man those kids can wear you out. I couldn't take my eyes off...

Feb 1, 2017

It is not such a bad day. Depression is light. The beast is quiet. No panic attacks and no headache. All things told I would say it is a pretty good day. I had the two youngest grands for an hour while my wife did some of her never ending running....

Jan 31, 2017

It is a good day. Depression is very light, almost gone. The beast is quiet. No headache, no panic attacks. Nothing but near normalcy. I have to go see my new PCP soon. He is a doctor I saw years ago when he was in the office of my old PCP. He is a...

Jan 30, 2017

There is this weirdly glowing orb in he sky. It casts a weak light over every thing outside. Yes the sun has put in an appearance today. It was hidden behind clouds an hour and a half ago when I first got up and it maye very well be hidden again in...

Jan 29, 2017

Today is not such a bad day. Depression is light. The beast is quiet. No headaches. No panic attacks. I am just godawful tired. Dunno why. I slept well but I felt like I could have slept another week. I am in work and having a difficult time keeping...

Jan 28, 2017

It is not such a good day. Depression still runs rampant. Tears still flow. The beast is back. But no panic attacks. I did have a headache when I awoke. A nasty one. I think it is because I slept too heavily. I did sleep like the dead. My phone woke...

Jan 27, 2017

It is not such a bad day. Depression is light but still there. The beast is quiet. I've had no headaches although I did have a panic attack this morning. It was a bad one. Even the clonozepam did not help. I was sure I was dying of heart failure....

Jan 26, 2017

It is not such a bad day. Not a particularly good one either. Depression and tears still here. The beast still around. But it is ligt and he is quiet as a whisper so it's not too bad. Except for the damn tears. God how I hate those tears. And the...

Jan 23, 2017

It is a good day as these days go. No depression, no panic attacks and no headache. I got my script refilled yesterday and today I feel good. Normal. Normalcy is not to be underrated. Have to go get my third hearing test in work this morning. Not...

Jan 22, 2017

I am not quite right today. My wife says I look like I'm drugged. I feel like I'm drugged. My meds are out of balance since I ran out of lamotrogine some days ago. I keep saying I have to get it refilled but never quite make it to do so. That is the...

Jan 20, 2017

Today is a good day as these days go. No depression, no panic attacks, no headache and best of all no beast. My knee has been bothering me again but that's likely due to the weather. I am very tired today. Haven't really done much of anything all day...

Jan 17, 2017

It is not a bad day. Not necessarily a good one either but it's better than yesterday and so that is an improvement. Depression is light and the beast is quiet. I can't ask for much more than that. No panic attacks, no headaches. Life is good for a...

Jan 16, 2017

Mmmmmm good! Coffee is good this morning or afternoon or whatever it is, Nice and thick and rich and best of all hot. I love it when a brew comes out perfect. Still bothered by the depression but today it is relatively mild. All things considered...

Jan 15, 2017

It is not a good day. Not at all. The depression is kicking my ass. It makes it hard to breathe much less move or actually interact with anyone else. It is a huge dark blanket that is smothering me. The beast is back loud and clear with all of his...

Jan 14, 2017

It's not too bad a day. Depression is light, the beast is quiet. No panic attacks and no headaches. I am alone again. As always. I live my life alone. My wife is always out running. Being alone isn't so bad I guess. Sometimes. Sometimes it is...

Jan 13, 2017

It is not a good day. The cold is back with a vengeance. Depression is back if it ever left. The beast is back. I am alone again. Always alone. When she retired she said she could be home more often but it seems the opposite is true. She is home less...