Dec 5, 2016

A good day. No depression. The hypomania has passed. I slept well this morning. I did wake with a headache but it is gone now. No panic attacks. Nothing but normalcy. Even the beast has been silent. I have been alone with the dogs all day. It has not...

Wheeeeeee!

Going away is the blue bird... here to stay is a new bird...   Well the blue bird has gone away at least. Dunno about here to stay though.   I think I'm running a bit hypomanic all of a sudden. Like throwing a switch.   Or maybe a...

Dec 3, 2016

What is going on? In the past week 4 people we know have died. And Lucy's brother Damien died too. One of the people was a 21 year old young man who died of suicide. A few years ago his brother went the same way when he jumped off the Walt Whitman...

I just have to be strong and keep the mask in place

It has been a long day. Long and lonely. My wife was here and so were Miah and Tally but the loneliness comes from within and not from without. With the depression deepening today I simply cannot connect with the world. I am alone, inside. I cannot...

Dec 2, 2016

It is a not so good day. Depression has deepened. The beast is that much louder. He says unspeakable things to me. I did not sleep well at all. Had a difficult time getting to sleep last night and then I wasup every hour on the half hour. I finally...

Dec 1, 2016

It is not really a bad day. Depression is back but it is mild. The beast is a whisper inside my head rather than a cacophonous pain in the ass. I have not had a panic attack since the other night in work. No headaches either. I was getting a monster...

Nov 30, 2016

Another good day without depression. No headaches either. I did have a panic attack last night in work that was pretty vicious but today is turning out to be a good one so far. I will see if I get another headache tonight. So far I'm batting 1000 with...

Nov 29, 2016

It's been a good few days here now. No depression to speak of. No panic attacks. No beastie boys in my head.   But I have been getting headaches like clockwork. Each night around 8 PM or so it starts. I start taking tylenol as soon as I feel it...

Nov 26, 2016

It is a good day. No depression to speak of. No headache, thank God. No panic attacks, no voices, no tears. I feel good. It was a little sunnyout when I gotup but the clouds have moved in and it is once again a gray day but that's not getting to me. I...

Nov 25, 2016

It is a good day. After a wonderful Thanksgiving day I have no depression. I did wake upat 5 AM with a killer headache. I took 5 tylenol then went back to bed. After sleeping a few more hours the headache was gone thank God. There have been no panic...

Nov 23, 2016

It's 2:30 AM. Where are YOUR children? LOL! Been one of those nights where I just can't sleep. Up every hour on the half hour. I have finally given up and so I got up out of bed. I am not so bad today. No depression, no headache, no panic attacks....

Nov 21, 2016

A much better day. Depression grows light again. Light enough to not be a problem. I slept well but rose with a headache. Tooksome headache pills (better living by modern chemistry) then drank some coffee. Headache gone. My knee had been troubling me...

Nov 20, 2016

It is not such a bad day. Depression has been lightening each day. Today it is not too bad. The beast is being his usual pain in the ass but I am ignoring him. Still tears come at unexpected moments. I slept a little better today, only waking a few...

Nov 19, 2016

The depression is milder today but still deep enough to make it hard to move. I did not sleep well again although I did not get out of bed until noon. Broken sleep is worse than no sleep at all. I had a headache when I woke but it was not a severe...

Nov 17, 2016

Depression is deep today. The beast is being a pain in the ass. He is stridently trying to convince me that I am better off dead. That the world is better off without me. That all I do is bring harm to those whom I love. That THEY are better off...

Nov 16, 2016

It's been a good couple of days. Depression has been light. The beast has been quiet. I've had no headaches or panic attacks. All in all things have been good. I have to get my wife's Christmas decorations down from the attic today. She gave me an...

Nov 14, 2016

It is not a bad day as these days go. Depression is light but noticeable. Still there. The beast is... whispering? Wellnot yelling at least. No headache today. No panic attacks. My knee is being good still. All in all a moderately good day. We will...

Nov 13, 2016

It is another good day. All things being relative that is. The depression is light. I had no headache. No panic attack. The beast is comparatively quiet. All told a day of near normalcy. The party last night was a huge success. The hit of the party...

Nov 12, 2016

A good day. A very good day. I slept well for a good solid 14 hours. Only woke up once for a bathroom break. No headache. No depression. No beast. Nothing but good ole normalcy. I feel good. I am good. It is cool but sunny out. It is only going up to...

Nov 11, 2016

It has been one of those days. Another killer headache when I got up. More tylenols and caffeine to get rid of it and still it is not totally gone. I did not get to be until 8:30 this morning. I slept like the dead and woke up around 1:30 with that...

Nov 10, 2016

This is not too bad a day. Depression is light enough to be all but gone. No beast thank God for small favors. Or I should say he is a faint echo inside my head. Easily ignored. No panic attacks thank God again. I did have a panic attack in work last...