Nov 9, 2016

So we have a new president elect. While I wanted neither him nor Clinton to win I knew there was no chance for Johnson. I voted for him anyway because I had to vote my conscience. My conscience told me Trump is a loud mouth ignorant man and Clinton is...

Nov 8, 2016

It is relatively good day. Depression is all but gone. No headache. I slept well. No beast. No panic attacks. Nothing but normalcy here today. The wife stayed home from work today. She is on a cleaning spree. Not just cleaning but moving all the...

Nov 7, 2016

It is not a bad day. Depression is light, almost non existent. No headaches, no panic attacks. No beast. That God for small favors. Damn beast. I hate him. It is a blessingthat he is quiet today. My car, the one I essentially gave to my oldest, has...

Nov 6, 2016

It is a good day. No depression. No headache. No panic attacks. Not even the beast. I am in good shape today although I am a bit tired. My wife has started decorating for Christmas. Of course. She starts right after Halloween every year. She lives...

Nove 5, 2016

It is a better day. Much better, My irritability is gone. Depression is faint but still there. The beast is being quiet. I slept well. In fact I did not get up until noon. No headache. No panic attacks. Knee is being good. It did not even bother me in...

Nov 4, 2016

Everybody hurts... sometimes. Just a tune that's going through my head. Yet it is so true. Everybody does hurt sometimes. Not all there today. I ranout of pills and went almost 3 days without them. Then they got my script wrong and instead of upping...

Nov 3, 2016

Things are well enough all things considered. Not quite with it this morning. Got another headache. Depression is getting worse. Tears are flowing. Just an all around blah day. Have to go into work today to get my ID card renewed. Joy to the world. ...

Nov 2, 2016

Another not so bad day. I did wake up with a headache but it was not a severe on. Nothing a little caffeine and some tylenol couldn't take care of. Depression today is not too bad either. Moderately light. The beast is quiet. No panic attacks either....

Nov 1, 2016 - PM

Not a good day. Not at all. It started out with a monstrous headache that is still killing me. Even coffee did and tylenol did not help. It is so bad that my daughter had to drive my wife to work. I simply could not. The pain is excrutiating. It is...

Nov 1, 2016

Depression is deep tonight. Too deep. I have double crews to deal with for the unit turnaround and I am ill equipped to do so. I am lucky sort of though. The real work doesn't start until Wednesday. So although I have double crews at the alky unit I...

Oct 31, 2016

It is not such a bad day. Depression still hangs in there but it is relatively mild. No panic attacks. No headaches. Knee is being good although it did bother me some in work last night. The beast is resting after his onslaught last night. Which...

Oct 30, 2016 - A Ramble

Well it's a quiet night at the oil works. Maybe a little too quiet. Nights like tonight are long ones. A little bit of activity might almost be welcome. Just a little. Of course it never goes that way. It is always either utter insanity or dead quiet...

Oct 29, 2016

The Halloween party last night was not too bad. I did endup holding up the walls but we did not stay too long. Only a couple of hours. We had to leave to pick up the grands. My wife had a good time talking and dancing and just being her outgoing self....

Oct 28, 2016

Not a very bad day but not especially good either. Depression hangs in there as always. Woke with a screaming headache and there was no coffee. My wife brought me home a cup from Dunkin Donuts. No panic attacks though so that is a plus. My knee...

Oct 27, 2016

It is not a bad day. Not a particularly good day either. Depression has stepped up a notch. I did not sleep well today. Not at all. Had nasty dreams again.All about HIM, again. I wish I knew what he looked like. Then perhaps he would not be so much...

Oct 26, 2016

It is not too bad a day. Depression is light. I've had not headaches now for a while. Nor any panic attacks. The beast is comparatively quiet. Or he was. My wife just stepped him up a notch. I was driving her to work and she decided to tell me the...

Oct 25, 2016

A good day. No depression. When there is no depression it is always a good day. No panic attacks. No headache. I slept well and only woke up twice. Only once with a bad dream. A dream about HIM of course. He isalways bigger than life. Always better...

Oct 23, 2016

Even a broken clock is right twice a day. Unless it's a digital clock. Broken digital clocks are normally just... blank. That is me today. Blank. Numb. Dead inside. As if I don't even exist. It was so hard getting up today. Even coffee did not wake...

Oct 22, 2016

It is a cold and rainy day outside. Highs will only be in the mid 50's, a full 30 degrees colder than it was just 3 days ago. It is a gray day. One of those days that I hate. The damp, the cold, especially the grayness. I miss the sun. Seems like most...

Oct 21, 2016

If it's Friday then it must be Monday. I have to work this weekend including tonight. I hate 3 day weekends when I have to work. They are always so long. But I am thankful I have a job so I cannot complain. Soon enough I may not even have that. Of...

Oct 20, 2016

I am better today than yesterday. Depression is still a factor. I slept well. Almost 12 hours. I must have been tired. I only woke up twice. Neither time due to bad dreams. Not that I can remember anyway. No headache today. No panic attacks so far....

Oct 18, 2016

Well I'm up and drinking coffee. Getting ready for jury duty. I can't make up my mind whether or not I want to get on a trial. I have police in the family and one who was a friend so it may be a moot point. I tend to think most of those who are...