July 31, 2016

I'm tired. Two difficult nights in work followed by restless sleep has left me feeling like a zombie. I can only hope that tonight is better. We have had 4 fires and one personal injury in 36 hours. It seems like we are on a bad streak. Lucky that...

July 29, 2016

Another good day. At least so far. A tiny bit of depression. The voice is a low murmur deep inside. Not too difficult to ignore. No panic attackes. No mystery pains although my knees have been a bitch now for days. No headache, Nothing to bitch about....

July 25, 2016

A good day despite that fact that I was up early considering I have to work tonight. No depression, no headaches, no panic attacks. I'm on a roll I think. Looks like close to a week without serious depression. And in that time period I've only been on...

July 23, 2016

It is another good day without depression or stress or panic attack. No beast. No chest pains. Kidney is being good. My knees are painful this morning though. We took a ride down to Ocean City, NJ last night. The air down there was much cooler. We...

July 22, 2016

Another good day. Well, not quite good but not bad. Depression is mild. I slept will with no dreams. No headache this morning. No panic attacks. No chest pain. The beast is quiet for once. I was in a deep fog when I woke up. Kind of stumbled around...

July 21, 2016

It is another good day. Depression is all but non existent. No bad dreams this morning. No headache. No panic attacks or chest pain. Kidney is still being good. Now if only my damn knees would cooperate. They're really being a bitch these last few...

July 20, 2016

It is not a bad day. Depression is light. No beast haunting my thoughts. No headache. No chest pain. No panic attacks. All in all I am doing well. I have work tonight so that is a good thing. I woke up in a fog though. I needed caffeine to clear my...

July 18, 2016

It is another depressive day in a long line of them. Really not a bad day as they go. I slept well this morning. No dreams thank God. The beast is mostly quiet. No panic attacks, no chest pain and my kidney is being good. But my knee is still being a...

July 16, 2016

I am a bit cloudy today. My head is fogged over. I am slow to reason and even slower to act. Tired and withdrawn. The depression is light enough but my head is not what it should be. I slept poorly. My sleep was filled with bad dreams and I woke with...

July 15, 2016

Not a bad day. Depression is light. No headache, not chest or kidney pain. My knee is still being a bitch but I am living with it. No panic attacks, no tears, no anything. I feel good. Better than I have in over a week.   Work tonight. It will...

July 13, 2016

My head is better now. It is still very foggy but the pain is gone. I can think again if not clearly. I am tired. So tired. Depression has me in it's grip. The beast is strident today. He cries out against me. Tells me to die. That I am a foul loser...

July 12, 2016

A rough morning. Had a terrible headache when I woke. One of those monster ones where the world narrows to a dim gray tunnel when I stand and I almost pass out. It was bad. Very bad. I took a double handful of tylenol and laid back down. When I got up...

July 11, 2016

Not a bad day but not a good one either. Still flirting with depression and the voice of the beast is insistently pervasive. He keeps harping onward about last night. We took a ride and my wife unlaoded on me. It is my fault she chose not to go to...

July 7, 2016

I am better today then I have been in a long while. For at least a week now I have been lost in deepest, darkest depression. I have isolated and been lost in loneliness and despair. The voice of the beast has been loud and strident. Tears rulled my...