August 31, 2016

I had a really rough night. Between my knee and the dreams I was up more than I was asleep. I feel like crap now that I've finally given up and got out of bed. Depression is tickling my ass and my knee is being a real bitch today. I'm sucking down...

August 30, 2016

Just another day in paradise. We have a house full of irritable people today. Unsure why but I am a cranky old man today. My wife is no better. She has a reason though. She had a big blowup with my youngest last night. Usual crap. Jealousy as if she...

August 29, 2016

No news on my sister in law. She is still in the hospital. They still don't know what bit her. I have the house to myself again. Still no depression or panic attacks. My knee acted up pretty badly last night. It is especially bad going up steps. It...

August 28, 2016

I have the house to myself this morning. Or early afternoon. Whichever it is. It is quiet and still. Peaceful and serene. I can still remember when being alone was a sore trial. It was a surefire way to a panic attack. These days I welcome the...

August 26, 2016

It has been a good day. I slept well last night with no nasty dreams. Only woke up twice and fell back asleep easily each time. Little to no depression today. No tears. No voices. No panic attacks. Nothing but normalcy. Now that is what I call a...

August 25, 2016

I want to write something profound. Somethng that will make you stop and think. Not political dribble. Not daily bullshit. Something that will ring your bell. Something worthwhile. Alas I have nothing. My inspiration went the way of my manic spells....

August 24, 2016

Yawn! I just woke up. Drinking coffee and trying to keep my eyes open. More unpleasant dreams last night. I've been having them every other night. They wake me at night and leave me all discombobulated. Make it hard to get back to sleep. Always the...

August 11, 2016 - one year free today

Today is one year since I've had even one drop of alcohol. Unfortunately it is also the one year anniversary of one of the worst periods in my life. One year ago today I lost my wife to my insanity. I ended up in the hospital and then the crisis...

August 8, 2016

I'm not right today. Not exactly sure what's wrong. All I can say is I just am not right. Kind of wired. Feeling stressed out yet I have no stress that I can see. My mind is simply hanging on. Breathing hard. Tensed up. The worst of it is my head....

August 5, 2016

It was really a weird feeling waking up this morning to an empty house. To an empty living room. All this time my oldest has been staying here a truly empty house was a rare occurance. And an empty living room never occurred of course because her bed,...

August 4, 2016

Well settlement is over and my youngest is now the proud owner of a 4 bedroom home. My oldest will be moving out of our living room and moving in with her where she will have a bedroom for her and the 2 babies today. Tomorrow when I come home from...

August 3, 2016

It is not such a bad day. The depression gets a little deeper with each passing day. I hate to see it come back. It was so nice when it was gone. I lived days of normalcy. But it ws inevitable that it would return. The beast is back with his...