It is not such a good day. Depression is back like a bad dream. The beast is whispering his little inanities again. I am borderline on a panic attack. But I have had no headache.
I did not sleep well last night at all. Bad dreams had me up half the night. Dreams of HIM again. And her. He is always an amorphous figure in the dreams. Never really clear. Sometimes he is bigger than God which is ridiculous because according to her he is a tiny little runt. She has told me that I am bigger than he is but that is not how it seems in my dreams.
I am in work right now. Just finished my first round. I see my CO screwed me on Sunday night and did not fire up the deprop tower like I told her to. The AS has asked me why not and I had no answer other than I thought she did. Now I feel like a fool.
Heartburn really bad today. Really bad. Chewing tums like they're going out of style. My stomach is big time upset. Daywork blows.
My wife will be going to NC without me next week. She will be gone either 2 or 3 weeks depending on how long it takes her to get done what she needs to get done. This guy she is talking to lives down there too but he is a couple of hours away. She will be there with her sister. I cannot see her cheating on me with him when her sister is there. I cannot see her cheating at all but then I didn't see it last year either and look what happened. I have to admit that I am concerned. I trust her. I have to trust her. Yet I cannot help the concern.
We will have to rent a car for me to use while she is away. I have no idea how much that will cost or how to go about doing it. I have to make some phone calls on Friday to figure it all out.
I will miss her. And I will worry of course. I don't like her traveling that far without me. What if something happens to the car? But I have no choice in the matter.
Well be good people. Stay strong and all of that good stuff.