April 17, 2017

It is an OK day. Depression is licking at me. The beast is back. Tears press on me. But it is not too bad. Not nearly as bad as it has been. There have been no panic attacks nor headaches. I am lucky in that regard. I am just down that is all.

It is a rainy day outside. It matches my soul. Dark and gray. Full of tears to match the rain drops.

Today everyone leaves. My oldest gets her apartment and she moves out with the kids. Tice is gone. My son is gone for the week. My wife leaves tonight after I go to work.

From here on in I will be alone for the next two to three weeks. It will be an empty household. Just me and the dogs and the dogs don't give a flying fuck as long as they are fed and watered and let out when necessary.

This is my long week at work which is a good thing. It will keep me busy. But next week is my short week and that one will be especially tough.

I've never done good alone. Not alone for days even weeks on end.

But I will survive.

Oh, there is also the bunny rabit. Need to remember to feed and water him too.

That is what I will be for the next few weeks. Food and water for the animals.

Tears press but I will not let them fall. No. No tears. I am a big boy and I will survive. But it will be so lonely.

I will miss Miah begging for me to put on Paw Patrol for him. I will miss Tally begging to be held. I will miss T and my son. Most of all I will miss my wife.

It all changes today. Everyone leaves.

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