April 18, 2017

It is not a good day. I woke with a blindingly killer headache. I slept like shit due to it. Depression if back in force. Along with it comes the beast. Had a panic attack in work last night. A full fledged one. I had to go someplace ti hide until it spent itself. Couldn't let anyone see me in the throws of that attack. Even clonazepam did not help. Panic attacks are terrible in the extreme. Sometimes they have triggers that cause them. Other times they just come on their own. This was on of the latter. It just came for no rhyme or reason. The depression may be due to me running out of my AD again. No excuse for that except it is so hard to find anymore. My local pharmacy has been out of it for months. They say it was recalled but other pharmacies have had it. I need to try again today to see if I can locate it. If I can move. My head is killing me.

I'm waiting for confirmation that my wife made it safely to North Carolina. Last I heard was this morning when they were about halfway there. At that time they were at least 2 hours behind schedule. Most likely due tomy sister in law who has to make constant stops. I know that drives my wife crazy. She likes to get going and keep going until she needs a fuel stop. She makes it there in about 9 hours which would have put them there at around 8 this morning but if they were only halfway at 5 then they may be just getting there. Anyway I am waiting to here from her. No worries yet. Not for a couple of hours. If I have not heard from her by then I will start to worry. The worry will grow worse as more time goes by. But I dunno. She may be there and sleeping for all I know. After an all night drive she deserves it.

She just called. As I expected they have just gotten there. A 9 hour drive turned into a 12 hour one. I know she was livid. But they arrived safe and sound and that is a good thing. Now she will sleep for a while then probably get up and make dinner for them. After that she will relax because tomorrow the work starts. She has painting to do. Her sister will be no help there. Carol is pretty useless when it comes to such things. She deliberately slops the paint on and makes a mess to prove that she cannot do it when all it takes is a little care. My wife isn't much better but over the years I have taught her to take care somewhat. Go slow now and save all the cleanup later. That's my motto. I can and do paint a room without even a drop cloth but it takes me almost twice as long as others.

It is a nice day outside. Sunny and in the 60's. Highs are supposed to be close to 70. Even this morning was just a bit cool at 49 degF. I have been outside for a little while absorbing the sunlight but it did not help the depression at all.

I have to force myself to go get a shower then go see if I can find my AD's.

Be good people. Stay strong. Always face the world with a smile no matter how difficult it is. Never refuse a hug and try for at least one good laugh per day. You'd be surprised at the magic in smiles and hugs and laughter.

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Comments (4)

  1. nico44l

    Do not fear of death, cause then it will come. The body has it’s own ways of curing and fear is not one of them. I liked this blog entry, especially the last paragraph, from be good people and on.

    April 18, 2017
    1. noahbody

      Thanks

      April 18, 2017
  2. belladora

    So you can paint. Well, it’s a great learning process so let her go to it.

    April 18, 2017
    1. noahbody

      LOL! Yes indeed.

      April 18, 2017