April 19, 2017

It is not too bad a day. Depression is still with me but it is lighter than yesterday. The beast is quiet than the good Lord. No panic attacks either today or last night. I did not sleep well and woke with a massive headache that is not mostly gone. I say mostly because it is still severe enough to make my stomach queasy and to affect my head.

Today my wife starts her painting down in NC. And we get the driveway done if the rain allows it. The driveway is the main reason she is down there. She is saying that maybe she will be home early. As early as this Sunday. It all depends on how much she gets done and how quickly.

Well I did it. I broke down and joined Facebook, again, just so that I can stay in touch with her. I hate Facebook and swore never again. It is strange how things change. I have friended her, only her and Iris. That is all the friends I will accept since I will likely delete the accound when she returns home. Navigating Facebook is a nightmare. I don't know what to do or how to do it. It seems like without any friends there is nothing to do there. That is OK. I sent her a message. That is all that I need it for. She has not accepted my friend request yet. That damn site seems to be intent on setting me up with more friends. It keeps suggesting others I might know. What a pain in the ass.

Work last night was quiet for a change. Lately quiet shifts are a rarity. More commonly it is flat out insanity. Insanity being when a hundred things come at me at once, faster than I can deal with them. It stresses me out big time let me tell you.

I have to make a run to Delaware for smokes today. Only gonna get one carton so I can save money to send to the wife if she decides to come home early. Failing that she will have to stay until next week when I get paid. That house down there has us totally broke right now. I gave her my credit card to get the paints and stuff she needs. Hope she does not lose it.

I am lonely without her. Bobbi moved out into her own place and Tony is away at work for the week. Tice is here with me with the babies but that is hardly comforting.

It is amazing the small footprint one has when one is home alone. A few small dishes to do. Small loads of laundry. Hardly generating any trash at all. It is almost worht being alone. Almost but not quite. Loneliness sucks the big one.

Well gotta go. Be good and stay strong. Always remember the magic found in smiles and hugs and laughter. It can change your life for the better if you let it.

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Comments (5)

  1. nico44l

    It’s nice when you feel someone next to you, those that have felt it, can’t live easily alone, and that’s why they say, always know someone other than your wife or husband, cause if the only one you have in your life is the other part of yours, then if that part gets deleted, then you feel half.

    April 19, 2017
    1. noahbody


      April 19, 2017
  2. depressedgirl

    Please be my friend on FB.

    April 19, 2017
    1. noahbody


      April 20, 2017
      1. depressedgirl

        Thanks so much.

        April 23, 2017