It's another day another dollar. Or 60 cents after taxes.
I'm not too bad today. Depression is still with me but I've come to live with that. It's like a long lost friend these days. It seems to be a permanent situation. The beast is quiet today thank God. He's actually been mostly quiet for the last week except for yesterday. He was rather rather loud and obnoxious yesterday. No panic attacks to speak of. No headaches. The last week I have been headache and panic attack free. It's been a good week as far as that goes.
Just got into a long discussion with one of my bosses about living in the south. Or rather he did the talking while I did the listening and nodding. I'm no good at small talk like that but apparently all he needed was someone to listen to him. He has a spread in South Carolina and when he heard I was in North Carolina on my vacation I guess he thought he'd found a kindred spirit. Anyway it was only uncomfortable for me, not for him.
We're only back one day and already the kids have my wife super stressed out. She was actually crying over it last night. I felt so bad for her but all I could tell her is she has to learn to say no to them and stick to it. She says she did say no but they make her feel guilty and so she gives in. I told her that was the problem. She has to stop feeling guilty and realize it is her life we are talking about. She says she just wants to run away, like she did last year. That is my greatest fear, that they will chase her away and so I will lose her again. But this time she would not be likely to come back. I should wish her well and I do but I don't want to lose her due to the kids and the stress. I just don't see how I can help her. I wish I did.
It is a gray and rainy day outside today. A good day to stay inside but unfortunately I cannot do that. I have an audit on the Alky unit today that I have to do. After that is the weekly lunch meeting with HR. That's always a drag. Luckily we only have to do the meeting once a month when we are on daywork on a Tuesday. It's always about how to screw the hourly worker. Contract issues and things like that. I would tend to sit in the back of the room but I cannot hear when I do so I sit up front where I garner too much attention. The meeting typically lasts an hour and a half. They provide lunch but a free lunch simply isn't worth it believe me.
Well I gotta do. Time to do payroll and get this day started. Be good and stay strong. Always face the world with a smile and never refuse a hug. Try for at least one good laugh per day. There is real magic in smiles and hugs and laughter. It is a magic that can change your life if you can do it.