March 15, 2017

It is way too early to be up but I had to get up for work. It is the witching hour. The 3 AM hour. The low point in life.

I am, of course, down. Way down. Coffee is good. No headaches. No panic attacks. Just the little beastie and me. I say little beastie because he is faint this morning. Just a whisper in my head. Depression, on the other hand, is a monster. It saps all my strength and makes it hard to move. It is like being smothered in a warm blanket. Or a cold blanket. It is the hand of God striking me down.

Yes I have daywork today and tomorrow. I hate dayworks. No one is supposed to be up at this ungodly hour.

It will be/is extremely cold this morning. The rest of the day will be no better. At least the wind has seemed to stop.

My back step is icy and I have no salt to put down on it. I have to remember to warn my wife when we leave for work. Don't want her falling and breaking something.

Dunno what I will walk into in work today. Will it be quiet or will it be insane? There is never any middle ground. It is always either eerily quiet or flat out insanity. I will take my clonozepam with me just in case.

The dogs are being a pain in the butt this morning. Especially Peanut. He keeps crying because he wants to getup in the bed but I will not help him up. He is fully capable of getting up there himself as he has demonstrated before.

Well it is time to get ready for work. Have to leave early because of the ice. I hope the roads are dry.

Be good, stay strong and all of that good stuff. Remember the magic found in smiles and hugs and laughter. It can change your life for the better if you let it.

To leave a comment, please sign in with
or or

Comments (6)

  1. sara4ever

    I have that going on too, between 2a-3a the voices in my head start speaking to me, and they never have good things to say 😯 I hope you have good day at work, may it go by fast.

    March 15, 2017
    1. noahbody

      Thank you. Yes may it go by fast. Those voices suck do they not?

      March 15, 2017
      1. sara4ever

        They do….and at that hour sometimes it’s hard to doubt what they’re saying 😯

        March 15, 2017
        1. noahbody

          yes indeed. It is hard to resist them. Especially at that hour.

          March 15, 2017
  2. Bettymom

    I have enough trouble with the voices OUTSIDE my head – I don’t need any inside there. Hope you have a good day at work.

    March 15, 2017
    1. noahbody

      LOL! Thanks.

      March 15, 2017