March 24, 2017

It is another good day. Depression is all but non existent. The beast is quiet. No headache, no panic attacks. I slept well except for the phone waking me up. Damn people never understand when you have to sleep late because you have to work that night.

My wife has a new/old friend she's been texting. New because she just started texting him. Old because she knew him when she was a kid. In fact she once broke up with me to go out with him. But I won her back so there is no jealousy. Or little enough of it anyway. He makes her laugh, something I seem unable to do. I am glad she has found someone to cheer her up. Yet I AM a little jealous. Just a little. I wish I could make her laugh like that. Cheer her up when she is down. I think we've been together long enough that nothing is new anymore and so all of our laughter is in the past. It is like my emotions have been numbed, most probably from the damn pills I take. They are supposed to keep me on a level keel after all. To cap the highs and lows. To even everything out. I think they kill the emotion and make me numb. Not as much as the lithium did though. That turned me into a zombie. Dead to the world. I could not even perform my husbandly duties.

I have work tonight. It should be a quiet night but I never really know until I get there. 3 midnights then I am off for a week. Thank God. I am burning out and need a week off even if it will be a working vacation. I have a lot of work to do in North Carolina. My wife is cracking the whip. She has he goals as far as what she wants done.

It is cloudy and gray outside today. After several days of sunshine that is all right. It will be the same tomorrow with some rain expected. But tomorrow will see highs in the 70's. Even the low will be around 49.

I fixed the leak in the kitchen sink yesterday. It was the garbage disposal. The inner seal went and so I had to replace it. I even did the wiring myself. I am proud of that since I rarely if ever play with electricity. I've been bitten too often. But this was simple enough that I did not hesitate. Besides I had no one else to do it for me.

My wife and I had a long and rambling talk last night. It started with an innocuous question from her and progressed from there. She asked me what my happiest memory was and I drew a blank at first. I eventually did come up with an answer that satisfied her. Her happiest memory, or one of them, was when she tripped me into a snow bank when I had my hands in my pockets. I paid her back though. I smushed a piece of pizza in her face one day soon after. We used to play pranks like that all the time. Whatever happened to those days? How did I become so serious?

Now I've done it. I've turned on the waterworks. Of course I have. Don't I always?

Well be good people. Stay strong. Always face the world with a smile. Never refuse a hug and try for at least one good laugh per day. There is real magic in smiles and hugs and laughter. A magic that can change your life if you let it.

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Comments (4)

  1. EyeVey

    Thank you so much for sharing with us! Isn’t it great when our symptoms, no matter what the illness is, subside?
    I’m 5 days into very little – no back pain. Day by day.

    March 24, 2017
    1. noahbody

      Excellent! I am so happy for you!

      March 25, 2017
  2. noahbody

    March 25, 2017